November 24, 2013

Butterfly Blessings

During my freshman and sophomore years of college, I was obsessed with butterflies. So much so that when I married at ripe old age of twenty, butterflies were a part of my wedding decorations. And then I let them, out of self-neglect and like so many other aspects of who I am, fade from my life for a very long time.
The day my husband left me three months ago has become, in my mind, the beginning of a journey to rediscover me, and become who I am without him. And, inspired by the somewhat clich├ęd and overused saying, "Just when the caterpillar thought her world had ended, she became a butterfly," the butterfly has become my totem animal once more. My Instagram photos have been tagged with #becomingabutterfly, I've been given butterfly gifts, and my bestie has nurtured and tended the metaphor with metamorphosis-encouraging words of wisdom and images of beauty. One day, when I was feeling particularly imprisoned in my chrysalis, she helped me to remember another, lesser tattooed quote I love which, at one point, had inspired one of my first blogs: "One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar. " Helen Keller. I have felt that impulse growing stronger, and my butterfly wings matching that growth day by day. 
But more than my own metamorphosis, I have felt, through the past months, an abundance of blessings, answers to prayer at the hands of family and friends, and love beyond measure from countless people around me. I have learned to accept help, and to allow others to be blessed by giving that help they sincerely want to give. It has come in the form of plain old cash, of time and kind words, of letters and cards, of meals, of childcare, and, most recently, a home. Even as my children and I prepared to leave our house and move into a tiny, two bedroom apartment-all we could afford- our Father in Heaven blessed us through the service and sacrifice if His servants once again. A couple from our church who own rental houses offered us a house. A house I love already. A house I know they could rent to someone else for twice what they are charging me. But I, humbly and gratefully, have accepted this help, this blessing, and pledged to live up to it. 
And so this week, Thanksgiving, with the strength and help of my Mom, and fiercely loyal love from my Dad, my children and I left Moon Cottage, a house we waited so long to have for Orchard Corner, a house we never expected, which has already lifted our hearts and shoulders and brought us love and light. I am thankful beyond words for this blessing on my butterfly journey. I feel I have emerged from my chrysalis, and found a home. 


  1. Oh, I miss you guys!! Lovely to see the pictures of your new home. I'm excited to see it someday in person. So, so happy for you that you have this well deserved blessing. You are amazing my friend!

  2. YES! What a great blessing! We love you, Amber, and will keep you in our prayers.