Dear Ones Who Were There (& Still Are),
Last Thursday I celebrated an important anniversary. It was the 2nd rebirth day of my bionic heart. Because social media is both a blessing and an addictive little booger-of-a-curse, Facebook considerately and persistently reminded me of the memories I had to look back on that day. I read love on the page, and encouragement, hope. I read strength in myself that I'd forgotten I have and I read quiet friends at-the-ready should I be too stubborn to ask for help and call. In looking back, I rediscovered a hope and a light.
Lately, I have struggled to feel and experience things as deeply as I would like. I have felt a numbness creeping in. I think this is in part a side-effect of the political season, which always weighs heavily on my shoulders with its conflict and divisions, and in part the urgency I have felt to speak out and fight against the mass injustice of the world. The poverty. The cruelty. The hatred. The ignorance. The shame.
This is not wrong, but if imbalanced against gratitude it is a heavy way to live. It is a dark way to live, when always, always gratitude for what is good and beautiful and going okay has been my soul's light.
I lost my balance.
But, as I was reminded on Thursday, I am loved, I am blessed, I am grateful, I'm alive! and so much is so much more than alright. I cannot fix the world in this moment. But I can revel in what is working, in beautiful moments and connections, in the eternal beings of my children, in the sensory richness of every day. I can build from that foundation a base of objection and of action, with the light of knowing that all is not lost and much will turn out okay in the end.
Thank you, shining ones, for the love and the moments. You're okay. Bask in that light.
Last Thursday I celebrated an important anniversary. It was the 2nd rebirth day of my bionic heart. Because social media is both a blessing and an addictive little booger-of-a-curse, Facebook considerately and persistently reminded me of the memories I had to look back on that day. I read love on the page, and encouragement, hope. I read strength in myself that I'd forgotten I have and I read quiet friends at-the-ready should I be too stubborn to ask for help and call. In looking back, I rediscovered a hope and a light.
Lately, I have struggled to feel and experience things as deeply as I would like. I have felt a numbness creeping in. I think this is in part a side-effect of the political season, which always weighs heavily on my shoulders with its conflict and divisions, and in part the urgency I have felt to speak out and fight against the mass injustice of the world. The poverty. The cruelty. The hatred. The ignorance. The shame.
This is not wrong, but if imbalanced against gratitude it is a heavy way to live. It is a dark way to live, when always, always gratitude for what is good and beautiful and going okay has been my soul's light.
I lost my balance.
But, as I was reminded on Thursday, I am loved, I am blessed, I am grateful, I'm alive! and so much is so much more than alright. I cannot fix the world in this moment. But I can revel in what is working, in beautiful moments and connections, in the eternal beings of my children, in the sensory richness of every day. I can build from that foundation a base of objection and of action, with the light of knowing that all is not lost and much will turn out okay in the end.
Thank you, shining ones, for the love and the moments. You're okay. Bask in that light.
You must never give up trying to fix the world but you must always do it with love in your heart.
ReplyDelete